Labor Day - Part II

Somewhere in the time after that second epidural kicked in I started to remind myself that it would all be ok.  Pushing this baby out would be optimal, but if I needed a C section, we - like countless moms and babies before us - would be ok (Full disclosure, I'm not a fan of the Ina May Garten and the Business of Being Born school of thinking.  Are most births too medicalized?  Possibly.  Is this the issue I raise my sword at?  Nope).

Well a few hours later, much to my surprise, I am dilated to a 9.  You read that correctly, a 9.  This fucking process worked.  The hell of a foley bulb, useless stadol, multiple epidural attempts and pitocin cranked to the sky has induced my body into labor.  I can start to feel the contractions, and am instructed to increase my epidural as needed, by a nurse who is surprised that it is set to a level 6, when often it is set to a level 10.

Um, guys, bug mistake to give me that button.  Because OF COURSE I press the fucker, and then of course I start to feel queasy and dizzy again.  And oh, gee, guess what, I really react badly to this anesthesia, and my blood pressure is dropping.  And the doctor comes in and is all, "how many times did you press the button?" And I'm like "Three I think," but I am falling faint.  And they lower the epi and stabilize my blood pressure.  And Viking is angry.  "If you didn't want her to add drugs, why did you instruct her to press the button?  Is that the protocol?"  "Well, the drip won't allow more than a certain amount into her system." "Okay, but it allowed enough that her BP and the baby's started dropping."

Alrighty then.  I am now dilated to a 10.  it's all worked.  It's about 5:30 PM, so about 11 hours from when we first started.  The baby isn't optimally stationed, she's a tad bit high, but I am instructed to push.

And push I do.  For AN HOUR.  For those who have never experienced this, it IS in fact the feeling of pushing a bowel movement and you are supposed to push in the exact same way.  Now look, some of my pushes were weak ass pushes because I have a cold and it's hard to hold my breath, but some of them were EPIC.  And the doctor is actually yelling at me, "If you don't push harder you're going to wind up with a c section."  And I am now not only pushing but angry pushing during my contractions.  And we keep getting SO CLOSE and yet so far. 

After an hour of this the doctor looks grim.  Something is preventing the baby from coming out.  Maybe she's positioned badly?  There's a midwife there who is trying to have me move into different positions to jigger this baby out.  She has all kinds of tricks up her sleeve, but none of them are working.  After over 12 hours of hell - that was actually working - my labor is officially called a failure and I am now being prepped for a C Section.

I'm an overachiever.  I've never failed at anything.  Oh well.