Since my last post:
Countless people have been slaughtered by guns.
Roe was overturned.
On a personal note, 3 out of 4 of my household came down with COVID. All are well today, but every day it feels like the walls are closing in.
I spend a considerable amount of spare online time crowdfunding for Abortion funds, I feel like it's the most I have to give right now. When my kids are older I'll likely train to be an abortion fund warm-line volunteer.
I have a full-time job that demands so much, a toddler and a teenager who need so much, while I hurtle closer to menopause each day. I also joined the Board of my tiny little welcoming congregation, we're in a transition period where we're trying to figure out how to stay afloat.
I don't think I have the bandwidth to describe what it feels like to watch your kids learn to navigate a world that is so cruel. That wants to steal their safety at every turn.
My day to day life is one of comfort that's unimaginable to so many people. I have stable income, a comfortable house. A leafy green back yard to breathe in. Yet. I don't think I've felt so much anxiety since Celine. Maybe it's ptsd. Maybe it's living in a historical moment where you actively disassociate from your feelings because your trauma is no longer some hypothetical political exercise. You're watching the slowest largest wave of disaster unfold, as it swallows person after person.
One of the wisest organizers I have ever encountered has said something along the lines of the following: Hope is a discipline.
It is not a natural impulse to feel hope right now, to connect to optimism. I have to work my ass off each day to find a shred of it. But my commitment to my loved ones is that I will actively seek it.
RigelMom saying hi.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well this almost 2025 year and hoping it's better.
Covid kicked our butts this summer x2 but we are alive and well.
It was like 2+ months in an asthma hug. We managed and the long term effects are mostly manageable. Between IBS and perpetual everything upsets my stomach, and perimenopausal symptoms... it's a bear but it should improve...one... day!
My humans are: 11,9, 6 and almost 5.
Time flies.
I swear my Littles are more capable of death and destruction as they get more physically fit. Keeping them alive should not be this hard.
Thank you and I hope it's gentler for you too! 2024 was a garbage year, and we're all starting out 2025 with various colds, norovirus and potential strep in this house. Don't get me started on the perimenopause, thought going back on birth control is abating it a bit. Wait until the 11 year old human becomes a teen, omg. HUGS.
DeletePerimenopause sucks!!
DeleteMy kids are smart and capable and so able to come up with creative ways to die. Fizzgig is over 5 ft with boobs and Woogie has a freaking moustache... Lyra broke her arm mid June and we were just creeping out to return to normal and got butt kicking covid x2 oneonth apart. By September birthdays x3 we were still only 60% better. Let 2025 bring something good! I can't imagine full on teens. 9&11 is awful enough. I can't determine when I need to order period panties.
But she proudly announced at great Wolf Lodge she that she had crotch hairs. And of course arm pit hair shaving has been a thing. Save us all.