You guys. I am forty-seven years old, with a toddler. FORTY-SEVEN!
Can you fucking believe it!?!?
I have been meaning to write for weeks, but I feel like I have had too many thoughts, and they've been sort of jumbled and incoherent.
My girls are fine. Sammi is thriving at a small pre-k program where she spends a few hours a week painting and playing with other tiny people. Niblet is persevering through zoom school.
This week we were informed that her school is opening up for a hybrid-learning option. A few days a week in class.... we want to go, all of us, for her sake and ours. BUT
Our human thumb governor also opened up restaurants and other venues to full capacity. And vaccinations here are a fucking mess.
Our nanny is now eligible for a shot as a child caregiver - she has pre-existing conditions too. But there are no shots. I live in one of the worst states on the long lost of states that have been terrible at distributing vaccinations.
I have to spend way too many hours looking at COVID variant trends (Dammit Jim I'm a lawyer not an epidemiologist) and prognosticaing our family's risk to not just ourselves but the beautiful woman I employ. I bought HEPA filters for the house. I pay her hazard pay and unlimited sick leave. But is it enough?
I hate it here.
And all of the sudden it hit me - the last time I had to be this person who delves into research and advocate for myself.... it was when I was in the throes of infertility. Ashermans? MTHFR? Genetic carrier? Just because someone's equipped to do the work doesn't mean its right they that have to do the work.
Oh well, I digress. Happy Birthday to me.
Following your lead... Woogie now understands Shatner commas...
ReplyDeleteBut,you,are,doing, your, best, Spock.
Fizzgig turns 6 on Tuesday... Her birthday was first day of lockdown. Our #s are much improved and vaccines are readily available. Apologies to you guys.
I will be 47 in September so I feel your pain... With a toddler and 14 mo. Eilish/Apophsis(god of chaos) is as bad as Rigel ever was. I am up every 2 hours and am a zombie.
Best of luck on the vaccines and as much as I want a chick-fil-a play place, it's just not happening for awhile. Our kids need human interactions so bad... Hell I went to an auction and being away from my 4 kids was therapy and it was so nice being around other people!
We encountered a special needs kid and Woogie asked why he was breathing with his mouth open and looked weird. I desperately need my kids to see perfect normal people and perfect not-normal people. He's a compassionate kid but as I preach if we were all the same how boring it would be... I feel like he's lost perspective and he could have hurt feelings of the whole family. I cannot wait until new normal appears. Hugs and happy birthday!
Happy Belated Birthday Fizzgig!
DeleteI went to a CVS by myself last week and I wanted to just stare at makeup and skincare for an hour.
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel for child interaction. We won't be sending Niblet back to the school building, we're too concerned about the poor ventilation + variants + lack of teacher vaccination. But our local pool will be open and I will be spending as much time with Sammi there as possible. Woogie will learn from your example. I think we need to understand that even without a pandemic to put a crimp in our teachable moments, our kids may still unwittingly hurt others. I know did as a child, and I carry that moment with me as a means to teach mine both perspective and grace. Hugs momma, we will get through this! xo