Friday, May 30, 2014

"Oh no, not again"

You know when you're lying bare-assed on a metal table and someone is trying to shove a catheter up your cervix, and it's not going in and you're all

Ok, maybe not.  (BTW, yes, this is an image from Spaceballs - riffing on Alien of course -  because when you have a reproductive history like mine, Mel Brooks can help).

Let me back up.  This morning I went in for an HSG, with Dr. K.  Dr. K did read my chart thank god, saying, "you have had quite a few surgeries I see."  Yup, two D&Cs two hsyteroscopies without anesthesia and one in the OR.  He wasn't as irritating as Dr Dickhead, so I played along with his slightly lame morning quips.  He first gave me a pap test and noted that he hadn't done one in a year, but assured me he was a MD and qualified.  I noted that I wasn't an MD but was a JD.  He asked me not to sue him.  I replied that if I was going to sue a doctor I would have started a long time ago.  Nothing but pre-icky procedure mirth around here my friends.

So, this test basically involves inserting a catheter into your uterus and filling it up with dye, so that it can be seen on an X-Ray machine.  Hopefully the dye will travel easily through your fallopian tubes.  It gives the RE a clearer picture of the structure of your uterus and will also indicate any potential problems with your tubes.

I am happy to report that I survived this experience with some deep breathing (and the experience of in-office hysteroscopy without any anesthesia under my belt).  I am also insanely happy to report that Dr. K DID eventually get the catheter in, it just took a few tries.  And that my uterus and one tube looks great.  I am less happy to report that the other tube looks a little hinky and that Dr. K expressed "concern" about it.  He showed me the image captured on the monitor, it's not scarred, but it's a little misshapen.  It could have been damaged from an infection or perhaps always looked this way.  "You're going to do IVF so it isn't a problem," he said.  That worried me for a moment.  "Well, I am hopefully going to do IVF if I can afford it," I responded.  And I also noted that I had already been pregnant four times despite the hinky tube.  He said that while he was curious about it, it wasn't worth putting me under for another exploratory surgery and I happily agreed.  I have had enough of those.

I was practically skipping out of the office, so relieved that the procedure really wasn't so bad on the pain scale and that my reproductive system looks relatively normal for my all of my troubles.

On other fronts, I have been peeing on ovulation sticks and expect to see a surge any day/hour now.  I have been instructed not to have sex for 24 hours, but depending on what this afternoon's stick says, I may live on the edge and bump that a little to 12 or 18 hours (assuming of course that dear husband and I can keep our tired-assed middle-aged selves awake).  In any event, tomorrow morning at the latest, we will test the following two theories:
1. Women are more fertile after HSGs
2. Women are more fertile after miscarriages.

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