This all kinda sucks. I'm waiting for my period so I can plan next steps, yet I have no real plan in place to move forward when it does arrive. The next cycle will likely be a bust since I am traveling for work. Right now I feel pretty dejected and helpless. Even when medicated cycles didn't work, at least I felt like I was doing something to improve my very low odds. Now all I have in my toolbox are OPKs, some pre-seed and yeah, the fact that I do think my husband is sort of hot, if I may say so publicly.
(And the thought just hit me once again that baby-making can be the dreariest, most unsexy thing in the world).
So, the only other thing I really have to work with right now is my diet. Lots of women on the boards have sworn by the power of nutrients to improve our eggs. They're not all wrong, in fact there's an NIH study on the topic: The contribution of mitochondrial function to reproductive aging.
Without forcing you to read the study, the gist of it is this: Our eggs age as we age, which leads to all sorts of reproductive failures (See: my past two years). But it's not as simple a problem as "the eggs get old," it's more like, "the cellular energy of our eggs gets a little weak, the eggs get a little tired, and they don't function at peak capacity." Specifically, mitochondrial function declines. The question then, is can you improve mitochondrial energy to get those eggs to perform better when they're called up to the challenge?
So with that theory, umm, yeah, I have finally made some interesting movement on the diet front. I have bumped my CoQ10 to the "Ubiquinol" kind that is supposedly better absorbed by the body (this supplement was touted in the above-cited study. Full disclosure, I took a lot of CoQ10 before this last miscarriage and still lost a baby, but more of the jacked up version couldn't hurt). I've also eliminated dairy. And most processed foods. And pasta, rice and potatoes. I am drinking a smoothie made from almond milk, fruit, flax-seed, kale and fucking wheat grass. Yes, you read that right, I am now one of those people that you see at the Wholefoods that you would rather not eat out with at a restaurant because they sound like such a drag. I am considerably poorer from this entire endeavor, but what the hell, right? I have little else to control these days.
Note: My acupuncturist was quite supportive of this dietary exploration (she's the one who helpfully suggested I add the fucking what? grass to the already delectable smoothie).