Monday, April 28, 2014

The calendar is mocking me

Well. my HCG is negative.  In the grand scheme of things this is incredibly good news.  No retained products.  No follow-up surgery.  A smooth clean miscarriage if there ever was one.
Husband and I are not ttc this month, my cycle appears to be a little wonky....I never did get a positive line on any OPK, although I did get the ovary pains that usually arrive with ovulating.  Aside from not having the lovefests that are usually engaged in our bedroom mid-cycle, we did nothing to prevent pregnancy per se.  I will say with confidence that the odds are highly unlikely that I will be pregnant from just that one time.  Yeah, I know, I sound like a teen in a pregnancy prevention PSA here from the 80s, or something out of the mouth of your high school friend who totally found herself with child, right?  Just remember, I do not have the ovaries of a 16 year old.

Now comes the obligatory wait for my period, so I can stress about the calendar some more.  Because that's pretty much what I do for maybe, 43% of my day.  I stare - not glance - at a giant "At a glance" book on my desk.  If my period arrives on schedule, I will be traveling for work during my most fertile time.  Because OF COURSE I WILL.  Which has led to conversations in our home about whether Husband flies out to see me for a quickie.  Yeah, you read that right.  I'm 40, I just miscarried, and I can't afford to waste a cycle.  I am getting a headache just thinking about how we would accomplish this, given, you know, niblet.  It's not exactly an ask you want to make of your kind, but somewhat prudish in-laws.  I can just see the poor guy now, "umm yeah, could you watch niblet for a night so I can try to get her mom knocked up?"

Oh, also complicating the quickie?  My employer requires staff to double-up and share rooms during work conferences.  Yeah, you read that right too.  I will be sharing a room with my Research Director on this trip.  Could you just imagine THAT conversation?  "So Research Director, do you mind if I could get the room to myself for about, say, twenty minutes?" Face palm.  So we're looking not only at a round-trip flight for husband to visit, but at the prospect of him ponying up for a room as well.  Ow.  My head really hurts now.

But hey, who knows, maybe my luck will hold!   I mean, the timing of the miscarriage worked out after all.  Maybe I'll be late this month - or extra early.  Even just a day or two would help immensely.  I'll take all that timing energy again universe, so here goes:  I REALLY cannot make a baby between 5:30am on May 20th and  8pm May 23rd.  Is that doable? Thanks!

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