Thursday, December 31, 2015

caution to the wind, etc. etc.

Yeah, so on a whim, and because I am all out of fucks to give, I took a pack of clomid this cycle.  Just 50mg.  I am still waiting to ovulate, and not even sure that I will, because I could land in the 25% of women for whom it causes annovulatory cycles, but whatever. 

My beautiful daughter turns seven soon and like every mother, I think, I spent too many of her infant days in a daze of my own.  She will likely be the only child I mother, and I have long accepted that I am lucky to have her in my life.  I think that since Celine's passing, I have done a better job of being truly present in her life.

As for writing this post on NYE, well, my hopes for 2016 are probably much like some of yours.  Drop a few pounds.  Inhale less coffee.  A personal wish for a D&C-free year would be lovely, and if the past few months are any indication, maybe that wish will be granted.  So therefore, it seems odd I know, to down my stash of fertility drugs.  And down them I will, I have two more packs to go, and will likely jack up the dose to 100mg next month.  But then I think I will feel done.  Here's hoping. 

Catch you all next year.


  1. Happy New Year and best of luck!! Hoping for a great 2016 for us both.

  2. I'm always thinking of you... I very much hope that 2016 brings you happiness, peace & blessings... I'm so sorry for your losses💔❤️... it's random I know but have you ever run accross the following blog? She's been through so much too with RPL & also has one daughter- huge hugs from SF❤️ -L

    1. Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me.

      And whoa, I went through that blog - it's like reading myself, except blond and on the west coast.

  3. My ONE resolution for 2016 is that I am NOT pregnant for one day of it. Goals.