Recall my amazing Pregnant Best Friend At Work (PBFAW)? I may have noted somewhere that she had her baby, about six weeks ago, so she's just back to being my best friend at work. Who may not return from her maternity leave, burnt out on our office's brand of mission that is relentless on your personal life, particularly when attempting to mother an infant.... Anyways, today I paid her a long-overdue visit. With a grocery bag of food in tow I knocked on the door, and it opened to my gorgeous friend holding in her arms the most. beautiful. baby. ever. (And I say this as a parent who fully believes we are probably losing out on some big bucks by refusing to exploit Niblet's looks for cash).
So I spent the good portion of my afternoon holding and trying to soothe a crying, gassy, uncomfortable baby who wanted none. of. it. All so that her mama could eat some pie (yes, I am a good friend) and deal with an insurance benefits snafu that is typical of our employer (snafu is an understatement, they accidentally dropped her from our insurance plan).
A few hours later I left her house in a strange state of mind. Lighter, because seriously, I just want to eat all of the yummy babies, and I truly love my friend and felt good about doing her a good one. And happy that I wasn't triggered by the afternoon, that I could in earnest change a diaper and a onesie without bursting into tears. But with the lingering sadness that obviously comes from wanting to hold one of my own for so many years.
Baby S and I had our picture taken and I texted it to husband. Who marveled at those cheeks and eyes.
If only you could turn off the longing with a switch, right?