So, I am spotting. And a little crampy. Long-time readers will recall I discussed a similar circumstance way back here in the summer of 2014.
You can't go through life constantly knocked up, without delivering a live baby, without preparing for this possibility that your next pregnancy will end. If I am having a chemical pregnancy there's no question that it will be a huge bummer. It will be my 5th (possibly 6th) consecutive loss.
But all is not hopeless if this is a chemical pregnancy. For one thing, it means that my body may actually be working better than it has in years. Sure, an early loss stings. A loss at 8 weeks sucks. A loss at 12 weeks that your body for some reason hasn't recognized is pain. A loss in the second trimester is a level of hell that could have been written by Dante.
A chemical pregnancy also means that technically speaking, I am still fertile. Our parts work. Something got fertilized. Maybe I don't need to rush to Boston for a hysteroscopy, which I assure you is nothing like a pleasant day of medical tourism. Flying in to Logan, rushing to the hospital, having a scope rammed through your cervix and perhaps the joy of -- eeek -- microscissors cutting away scar tissue, and then rushing your crampy-assed self back to Logan is so far removed from a nice jaunt at Faneuil Hall.
And finally, a chemical pregnancy could also mean that I could be more fertile next cycle. Maybe I get another chance.
I know spotting is always scary, but implantation causes it as well as cramps. Hang in there! I have everything crossed for you. You have a healthy daughter as proof that you can do this! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine what pain you have felt losing your baby girl on reaching your second trimester.:(
My 5th loss (we lost the heartbeat at my graduating 8 week appt) was more emotionally painful for me than my 1st missed miscarriage @10 weeks. Seeing the heartbeat 2 weeks in a row, the whole ivf process and injections. Being told the embryo was grade 5AA and my lining a perfect 9.5. Physically, well I passed a kidney stone in 2009 and that pain did not even compare to the horrific pain of my 1st mmc at home.
Very hopeful for you that it is not a chemical but, if it is, I think it's great and inspiring that you are focusing on the positives. My latest miscarriage (missed miscarriage) was at 8 weeks and was due to a chromosomal abnormality, and as horrible as it was to find that out, I was so thankful that I didn't have to again contemplate TFMR in the second trimester! I would never have imagined that I could feel positive regarding such a thing 7 years ago when pregnant with my first! Hang in there, fingers crossed for you.
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