Saturday, March 29, 2014

Onwards and upwards?

Yesterday I got the official call from Dr. Cuddles' office, I am pregnant.  At around 14-15 days post ovulation my HCG was 76, my progesterone was 60.

The second number is calming but of course the first number rushed me to the interwebs for assurance that I was in a normal range.  Of course I knew the mistake I was making instantly, and started cursing all of those bitches out there posting on the chat boards, nonsense like "I am 15 DPO and my HCG was only 150/200/500."  To make matters worse, I realized I was reading the ramblings of women who were steered to a website that lists median reported hcg ranges submitted by pregnant women, and in posts were checking their numbers against that median reported number for an HCG level on a given day.  It was not listing the mean.  Smack my head.  I know, I should be more patient with others (we don't all use statistics in our day jobs), but this illustrates exactly why the internet is evil.

Dr. Cuddles instructed me to schedule more blood work and a six week sonogram - in the lab report I pulled up from my hospital portal, she wrote, "HCG 76 positive!"  The American Pregnancy Association says my HCG is in normal range.  I have to stop the insanity.

But I can't.  Because the tone has been set for the duration of this pregnancy, how ever long it is destined to last.  Now I wait for the results of this morning's labs, will the number double?  If so, will it double again on Monday?

Of all the times one cannot indulge in a stiff drink.  But at least I'm not obsessively peeing on sticks anymore. Onwards and upwards, right?


  1. I love your blog! Just love the way you express yourself and your incredible wit. I have been following your journey for a while after discovering the link to your blog on the BC Forums. Your courage and perseverance is so inspiring, and I have been (silently) cheering for you through all your ups and downs these past several months. You have been through so much! I can't help but feel excited for you now, and I will be praying that this will finally be your rainbow baby. Congratulations!

    My daughter had 3 consecutive miscarriages last year (trying for her first baby), and the last was a complete molar. I never even heard of it before. So, I have been looking for answers everywhere just trying to understand. As she is about to get back in the game (another brave woman), it gives us hope that she might find her rainbow, too.
    God bless you!

    1. Kathi, thank you so much for the lovely comments! I'll take all the prayers I can get. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's molar, I am assuming she's resolved to negative on her HCG? I am sending her so many positive vibes now, don't give up hope!

  2. Yes, she did resolve to negative within about 8 weeks. She is coming up on 6 months since her D&C. She found a new RE, and convinced him to let her start TTC after her next cycle. She will be 35 soon, and doesn't want to waste any more time. She's a fighter, but I'm a worrier. She also has the MTHFR gene mutation. Hope is what keeps her going (and all of us)! Thank you.