To all of my readers, I wish you happy holidays. And to my readers who deal with repeat pregnancy loss and infertility, I am truly sending you all of the positive energy I have.
Tis the season of exhaustion.
It's lovely to be grateful for all that we have - hopefully, good health, kind supportive family.... but this is also the time of year where things get dangerously reflective for some.
For those of us struggling to have a healthy baby, it's just.... difficult.
I am Jewish, but I LOVE Christmas. Maybe it's my fondness for Dickens. The lights. The food (god, yes, the food - don't read this Dr. Cuddles, World's Sternest Reproductive Endocrinologist, I promise, I am getting around to dropping ten pounds for you). But since losing pregnancies, this time of year is hard. Niblet's grandparents are downstairs right now as I write this. She is one lucky niblet to have so much love in her life. But anyone in my position will attest that the forced cheer and smiles suck the life out of you. I just spent a good hour in the upstairs bathroom, taking the longest shower I could get away with. My period is due tomorrow and by all evidence it's coming. Another cycle to get one's hopes up. Another year.
To my readers who have suffered losses and are struggling this time of year, I wish you gentler days ahead. Treat yourself to those stolen moments away - in your shower, on a brisk walk away from the family that you don't want to break down in front of, maybe "grabbing something you left in your car" if you're desparate - do whatever it is you gotta do. It's a season that signifies love and peace, and I wish you most of all, peace.