Thursday, December 12, 2013

a bitter dose of reality

So I tend to live in blissful ignorance of most reality tv.  It's not that I'm "above it" (though I confess as much of a snobbish Downton Abbey obsession as anyone).  We don't have cable - not so much because it's an entertainment wasteland, but frankly because it costs a lot of fucking money and is the ultimate time suck. 

I am vaguely aware of The Little Couple, actually I have heard some good things about it.  Well, now the show is providing an interesting conversation starter for us molar survivors, as this came across the babycenter molar pregnancy support board the other day:

In case you didn't read the link, Jen, the intrepid star of the show fell pregnant and miscarried.  With a molar pregnancy.  Which quickly turned cancerous, failed to respond to chemo, spread to her lungs, and ultimately sacrificed her uterus.

Oh my god, if this isn't the worst case of the worst case scenarios, I don't know what is.  Molar pregnancies are incredibly rare.  Developing choriocarcinoma - and ultimately requiring a hysterectomy - is like, the pinnacle of rarity, and some kind of cruel joke of the universe.  This is without a question, the worst fucking thing I have read all week.  I am wracking my brain to try to comprehend how this poor woman had to suffer even more than the "mere" devastation of a miscarriage with cancer, but it's a pointless exercise.  Fucking molar pregnancies.

I would love to reach out to her with the women on the bbc board.  Of all of my reproductive "mishaps" I found my Partial Molar Pregnancy to be the most isolating experience imaginable.  "It's a baby.... Noooo.....It's a "cancer baby"....It's out of fucking science fiction, that's what it is.  Medically speaking it's damn difficult to describe, and the combination of grief and fear that pervades is unreal.  Maybe a message from some other women who survived would be helpful. 

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