Monday, December 23, 2019

thinking of all of the beautiful souls

We're in the frenzy of the season now, aren't we.

I'm at work right now, taking a break from a ginormous project that is occupying a good portion of my brain even when I leave work.

I'm stressing at night over impending state and federal tax payments for our nanny - I am a little unsure where I will scrape the money together if I don't get any kind of cash hanukkah gift from  my parents.

Through all of this - the stress of a skyrocketing credit card balance and the deep concern that we can't pay our bills - I am just clinging to the joy of my family.

To all the mammas who are still reeling in their grief, I see you.

To the mammas who feel those stabs as I do - intermittently - but acutely when they arrive - I see you.

I've been flooded with memories the past few days, as my household adjusts to life without my MIL. Viking is most definitely drinking his feelings, it's a sad sight to see.  My FIL will be arriving today. He is a recovering alcoholic and will be a good, calming influence on my husband. They need each other desperately right now.

I am the wandering Jewess, yet the specific person who throws the Christmas parties for the family I have married into. Christmas Eve dinner will include my FIL, possible my brother and sister-in-law and a family of friends who were looking for some place to find company. We'll have a ridiculous amount of food (I'm Jewish after all).

Christmas Day I will also host an open house for family (some cousins who are expecting, our uncle, and another family of friends looking for something to do). Muffin tin eggs (google it!), Nutella waffles and mushroom hash brown casseroles will be on the menu.  Possible a soup too if I feel inspired.

Niblet and I baked a million cookies, made some chocolate bark and started curing a bunch of salmon  for gravlax.

Meanwhile, Samantha is the most adorable troublemaker in the world. She's a tornado of destruction through the house causing more spills, breaks and the need for vacuuming than anyone her size.

And she is the greatest gift our household has ever known.



3 comments:

  1. I feel ya on Lyra the destroyer... Sweet but damned capable of being a barbarian like her siblings.

    Update since you seldom pop over much, 70% effaced, 1-2 cm, -1 station, soft and most likely oa. kinda strippable. So a Bishop score of at least 7 or 9. Plan is my 45 year old butt will go in early on Mon (2 hr drive and my sister 5-7 hrs away) will go get aggressively stripped and then head to hospital for bag breaking. Gonna have a baby on her due date!

    Hospital is vbac friendly and newly part of husband's hospital family so paying employee cost. Excited to moo like the herd and not be special.

    I was induced at 41.0 last time bc she went op to oa (then lot) but this time I am hoping to be under 20 hrs! Woogie and Fizzgig were both 44 hrs.

    I hope your family had a lovely time and were able to feel the love you offered. Sounds like a fabulous event(s).

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    1. I AM THINKING OF YOU RIGHT NOW AND WAITING FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS..... SO much love.

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  2. Our group in the parents lounge after TFMR are the nicest ladies! You truly made me weepy when you checked on me. Another friend was checking on me via Hangouts and I was feeling the love. She looks like Bunny: so different from my other barbarians. So in love. I feel very sore but about hour 44 after birth Elsie the cow arrived and human pacifier now means mucho barfing.. horray! Glad life is being kind to you guys!

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