more thankful than imaginable

The holiday weekend came and went so quickly.

Viking ended up being able to join us, his Dad spent the holiday with his brother. Yay! Our family loaded in the car and hauled to NYC with only a few tears from the backseat. The visit was nice- not relaxing mind you - but pleasant. My parents are in love with S (Nibble too, but S got the accolades for being the cuddlier one). But my mom made the Best Fucking Turkey in the Word (TM) and there was no drama. In fact everyone got along really well despite the close quarters and sometimes at odds politics. Yay for calm!

After three nights of not sleeping on a cramped futon with an often screaming baby in the pack and play 30 inches away, the first night back in my own bed was amazing.

I'm pretty sure I have some sort of muscle injury in my back from hauling the 40 pound person around and up and down stairs. I'm considering seeing a chiropractor because it's covered by my insurance. What I'd really love is a massage but....

We're experiencing a cash flow problem in my house.  "Are we poor?" asked poor Niblet, when she heard Viking and I bickering about money. "Nooo sweetie, we're not poor by a long shot. We just have to be really careful about money right now because having C on a payroll and paying her fairly is eating at our ability to have more nice meals out and buying things we really don't need."

Actually, it's a little worse than that -  we are accumulating a fair amount of debt on my credit card - that I don't see being able to pay off in the next three months without a substantial gift from my parents. Viking has eliminated all of his savings. Thankfully, I was raised on the fringe of the middle class and have a good idea about how to save money overall - but it will take a while. Viking on the other hand is freaking out. We are still paying off our home equity loan - the one that allowed us to bring Samantha into the world. Money well spent, but money still owed.

We've cut out virtually all eating out. The convenient fancy Wholefoods Grocery across the street is a treat now, it's all Giant foods with coupons all the time now (Please Please Please don't go on strike Giant members of UFCW local 27 who were chanting in the store last week. I support you and can't cross a picket line but I really can't afford the WholePaycheck right now). I haven't bought a cup of coffee in months. My black beans in the slow cooker are a thing to behold.

I've cut trips to Target (buy your diapers online to cut the impulse shopping!) Viking is going to sell his roadbike. I am hoping to start back up a Zumba class at the office to make an extra $20 bucks a week next year.

Both T and I have significantly reduced our 401K contributions. I've also reduced Nibble's 529 contribution. I'm constantly looking for other places to slash the household budget.

Hand me down toys that Samantha has never seen will emerge from the attic this Christmakuh. Nibble understands she will not be getting the electronics she wants (don't worry, she'll do just fine on the present front).

Viking and I realize just how much my mother being Nibble's primary caretaker her first year meant financially, we are so grateful for my parents help. Having C on payroll is a finite expense and we are so grateful for having her in our lives. But paying one's Nanny a living wage and benefits is definitely something that is stretching us to our limits.

The main thing I'm trying to do is ensure Nibble doesn't feel any of this. We are still paying for her (very) expensive dance training because she loves it and is incredibly talented and I don't skip on quality ballet classes. She has Hebrew School which also must be paid for. I'm constantly on the hunt for Groupons for activities.

It's all good. Aside from my back and knees (which desperately need PT that won't be covered by insurance) and teeth (which need braces for non-cosmetic reasons that also won't be covered by insurance), we have our health. We have our house - it needs a lot of work that also won't get done any time soon (peeling plaster, a rotting front porch), but it's still standing.

So thankful.

(I just need my car to not break down).