Snippet of conversation prior to the start of a meeting with the heads of my organization, in a seemingly innocuous conversation about cats:
VP: You only have one cat?
VP: You only have one child too, right?
Me: I have exactly one child and one cat.
VP: You need to have another child.
Me: Silence. Maybe Princess would like a friend.
Yeah, I had no idea that I needed another child. If that's the case, we're in a lot of trouble, and thanks VP for the helpful life tip. This must be why you make the big bucks.
People, y'all better hide from me. I am internalizing a lot of angst and anger today, and there's a good chance I will spontaneously combust on your ass.