Saturday, November 30, 2013

a post of wishes and hockey and rhymes

So my period is arriving.... ugh, right as I type this.  For the past few months this the arrival of AF ("aunt flo" to those who don't spend countless hours in fertility conversations) has been marked by a feeling of utter despondency.  However, today it  arrives with more of a sigh, and mostly crossed fingers, toes and eyes, hopes that my Asherman's isn't returning.  You know what I want for Hanukkah? FLO.  I want to get a normal looking period, that's what I want.  I want to have to wear the mother of all maxi pads.  Enjoy that visual.

Meanwhile, this December Husband and I will have precisely one shot at rendering me knocked up because he will be traveling for work during the exact days that I will likely ovulate.  And I mean one shot, right at the crack of dawn before he leaves - the goal of all goals for the month.  I've even asked the dude to practice some visualization exercises.  Given this circumstance of unfortunate timing working against us I am not really holding out any hope for us to conceive in 2013.  December will also mark my sixth cycle in a row of trying to conceive since my last miscarriage, an ominous milestone.  So I am excited to have my monthly visit with Dr. Cuddles in two weeks.  We can have our usual warm and fuzzy conversation, where I can beg her to probe my cervix with a pipelle, because this is what you do when you have a problem with scar tissue growing over it.  We can also discuss clomid and the nuts and bolts of intra-uterine insemination.  Ahhh yes, I forsee fun times.

Yes, I am strangely calm about all of this tonight.  My new mantra is "Right now I am thirty-nine... my egg reserve's not in complete decline...."  Catchy right?

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