Friday, August 9, 2013

Scenes from a miscarriage. Week 2.

Wednesday May 29.  Week 5 Day 4 of pregnancy.  I'm really fucking tired.  Arrive at hospital Advanced Radiology lab for first ultrasound.  Warned by doctor that the most I will see is a gestational sac, perhaps a fetal pole.

Wednesday, 2:30pm.  Youngish ultrasound tech is baffled by request for ultrasound this early in pregnancy.  Engenders no confidence.  Loudly exclaims "I don't see anything in there.....maybe... yeah, I don't know.... I can't say I am seeing a sac..... I don't know."  I am told my doctor will get an official report the next day.

Wednesday, 2:50pm.  Drive home crying.

Wednesday 6pm.  Start feeling mysterious cramp around right ovary.  Between the pain and the words of ultrasound tech I am now convinced my pregnancy is ectopic.

Wednesday 6:15pm.  Join "ectopic pregnancy" support group on  Pose symptoms and questions to group.  Read horror stories about ruptured fallopian tubes and near-death experiences.

Wednesday, 9pm.  Warn husband of potential trip to ER.

Thursday May 30, 1am.  Is my cramping getting worse.  Is my baby trapped in my right tube?  Am I going to survive an ectopic pregnancy?

Thursday May 30, 10am.  Call doctor for Advanced Radiology ultrasound report.  Speak to kind assistant who says report isn't in yet, the doctor will call me as soon as she gets the result. 

Thursday 10:15am.  Imagine senior ultrasound technician staring at the images of my uterus in confusion.  I know from years of this shit, it's very tilted.

Friday May 31, 8am.  Call doctor back for lab report, kind assistant is pissed off at Advanced Radiology, my ultrasound report still isn't in yet.

Friday, 9am.  Fuck it.  Call in sick from work.  I'm exhausted.  Take niblet to pool in act of desperation to give her the attentive, loving, non-panicked mother who won't scar her for life, the mother that she deserves. 

Friday, 3pm.  Doctor calls me while I am buying Niblet a grilled cheese at the pool snack bar.  Her report says there is a gestational sac in my uterus.  IN MY UTERUS.  And I have a benign corpeus luteum cyst on my right ovary.  I should return to a lab next week for another ultrasound. 

Friday, 3:10pm.  Who is that crazy grinning lady with the kid in the pool snack bar?

Friday, 3:15pm.  Schedule radiology appointment for the following week with the hospital's department of Maternal Fetal Medicine.  In other words I will see a doctor who can actually read ultrasounds. 

1 comment:

  1. "Won't scar her for life." Fuck dude. Who knew that would be so hard?