Light

It's Christmas Eve day and I am taking a break from work to pause and write here, how much love wrapped with anxiety is in my heart right now.

My girls are a literal source of light. Earlier this week Niblet and I kicked off our holiday season binging on terrible Rom-Coms and it's a fucking joy to experience her sarcasm and laughter during a plague. We baked sugar cookies together and I felt like I was in a fucking Hallmark movie.

Meanwhile, after hand-wringing, much research and a really helpful conversation with our pediatrician, Sammi is going to start pre-school in January, at a place that is doing as good a job as possible with safety precautions, for a few mornings a week.  Even our Nanny agrees that she needs the playtime with other kids close to her age, and this little group of 6 kids will effectively form her pod.  She is a dynamo, a ball of energy and so.many. words, and the way her face lights up when she sees other toddlers, I know she needs this. 

Another nurse I know just died from COVID. Two friends have recovered, but after weeks of pains, even with their "mild" cases. Our hatches have been battened down for months with only masked grocery runs and outdoor times on relatively empty playgrounds. Yeah, I'm just hoping for the best. We've been working hard to protect our Nanny - we wear masks indoors around her, so much of our decision making is related to keeping her safe. She is onboard with the plan (if she wasn't, we wouldn't do it). But the minute any sickness should come into the house we're prepared to enact our household quarantine measures (which includes keeping her home with pay for the duration of the quarantine).

I'm grateful for so much right now. All of our parents' good health. Our good health (fingers crossed). Our ability to buy toys for the kids and have a beautiful tree packed with presents. Our ability to telework indefinitely. The week off Viking and I are both able to take. The warmth of my house which used to be drafty and cold before we spent the money to insulate it. Our fridge packed full of food. I have a stack of unread books that I am desperate to read. 

Wow, this post is gushy and gooey and I wasn't expecting it to be this so when I opened up blogger to write it, but here we are.

To anyone who still reads my ramblings, I wish you so much love and light.