Monday, July 20, 2015

Board hiatus

The newest member of my family entered the world safely this weekend.  So huzzah for that.  If I could only find the fortitude to go through the baby section to buy a gift.  I know I will do it eventually, but man, does the tactile sensation of holding infant clothing STILL fucking set me off like a waterworks.

On other fronts, I think I need to stop visiting the baby center boards.  I have mostly gone to participate on a few TFMR forums, which have been incredibly helpful.  But watching the women I shared this awful experience - one by one - find their way out of the hellhole they were in with healthy pregnancies is starting to depress me.  And the fact that I am getting depressed is making me feel terribly guilty, because I should be thrilled for them, so what am I, some sort of sociopath?

I feel sort of wandering and homeless.  Aside from a few voices in the wilderness who have also been dealt this insanely whammo hand of Asherman's Syndrome, RPL and a side of TFMR, all while AMA, it's hard for me to participate in many of the threads.  I feel like recounting my sad tale to a bunch of women ttc isn't instructive for anyone, expect to say, wow, some people can really be on the fucked up end of statistics!  But you probably won't be!  I hope not!

I was also here - at this exact place a year ago.

Take a look at that linked post.  I'm living a time warp!

So at the end of the day it's the same Rx that I have to move forward with with a few new add-ons.  Joy in Niblet.  Better eating.  Better health.  Feeling good.  Dance.  Sun.  Swimming.  Therapy.  A fuck ton of vitamins.