tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post5851128742764217002..comments2023-05-11T05:19:56.827-07:00Comments on justonemore: I don't often give advice, but....justonemorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08347973233337053745noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-26419314184852399362016-12-05T12:17:23.459-08:002016-12-05T12:17:23.459-08:00Monika, thanks for commenting. To be clear, I am ...Monika, thanks for commenting. To be clear, I am not trying to suggest this woman was being intentionally insensitive. But I think a great contrast would be to look at one of my best friends at work, who is currently pregnant with her second baby (she has now had two successful pregnancies in the time span that I have lost 3). This friend asked me to go for a walk with her, and explained to me that she was nervous about disclosing her pregnancy. She knows the woman I wrote about and believe that she made the wrong decision. Actually, this friend and I were both pregnant at the same time when she was carrying her first, however I lost that baby at 11 weeks... I truly appreciated her telling me and have been trying to help her with her own prenatal depression. Was it awkward for her? Unquestionably. But learning from the office gossip would have been far worse and it would have felt like a deep betrayal. I maintain that you did the right think giving your friend the heads up that you were pregnant. Perhaps she did find it too hard to talk to you. I'll be honest, I find it hard to be around my pregnant best friend right now, she's a walking trigger. If I didn't see her every day I might try to hide. As it is she doesn't know about the two early miscarriages I have had in the past few cycles.... But it would be much more difficult to maintain the friendship if she tried to hide her pregnancy from me.justonemorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08347973233337053745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-52040639649605545122016-12-05T06:24:21.453-08:002016-12-05T06:24:21.453-08:00I landed here randomly, but I don't think your...I landed here randomly, but I don't think your friend not alterting you to her pregnancy was particularly insensitive. Perhaps it was even an attempt at sensitivity. I have had one miscarriage but have felt guilty about 'flaunting' my fertility by announcing my pregnancy to friends who I knew were struggling. When I was pregnant with my third I had a friend who'd been trying since before I had my second (our firsts were born 14 days apart) and I didn't announce it till 3 months in and gave her a heads up in a personal message before posting it publicly... I got no response and she didn't talk to me for the next six months. I suspect she 'hid' my fb and unfollowed my journal without unfriending me. I understood that it was probably too painful for her and just let her be and our friendship picked back up a while after the kid arrived. Did me giving her a heads up help things? Or would it have been better for her if I just hadn't shared pregnancy stuff and made my posts about other parts of my life?Monikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09245950653018680552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-22169207443085514532016-01-30T11:54:22.811-08:002016-01-30T11:54:22.811-08:00I am happy to say I made a fairly quick recovery (...I am happy to say I made a fairly quick recovery (if 48 hours is quick). justonemorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08347973233337053745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-62872212707850555372016-01-30T11:52:41.520-08:002016-01-30T11:52:41.520-08:00Wow, I thought my friend was particularly insensit...Wow, I thought my friend was particularly insensitive, but I am starting to wonder whether her actions (or lack thereof) are the norm. There a re way too many of these stories for my liking.justonemorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08347973233337053745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-21455369742641337922016-01-30T11:51:24.629-08:002016-01-30T11:51:24.629-08:00Oh whoa, that's awful. The airport is general...Oh whoa, that's awful. The airport is generally stressful enough, I am so sorry. I don't know that I would have been coherent had I had seen my friend pregnant in person.justonemorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08347973233337053745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-52661991740062797572016-01-29T20:50:38.431-08:002016-01-29T20:50:38.431-08:00The lack of insight and insensitivity of some peop...The lack of insight and insensitivity of some people is truly incredible. I've had similar experiences with two people I considered to be good friends. I'm sorry, hugs to you.Zoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10945716622953602615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-64272746533065546892016-01-28T07:23:13.821-08:002016-01-28T07:23:13.821-08:00I had the same thing happen to me. A lady I worked...I had the same thing happen to me. A lady I worked with in Barbados and kept in touch on FB. I told her I was visiting my parents and she said nothing about her pregnancy. She works at the airport as luck would have it, I was one of those random searches. she just so happened to be the one doing the body search and seeing her 8 months pregnant when she had not mentioned her pregnancy was like a punch in the gut. I could see she felt awkward when I congratulated her. Her knowing about my miscarriages was probably the reason she hid her pregnancy from me. Chantalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09558554593486447821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2801070945500054961.post-82463426712176016242016-01-25T15:50:29.451-08:002016-01-25T15:50:29.451-08:00This made ME feel like I was punched in the gut. I...This made ME feel like I was punched in the gut. I'm so sorry.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12796414194521964103noreply@blogger.com